This just came into my inbox, from a “senior” date matching service, who somehow (?) got my email address and regularly sends me photos
of (im)possibly perfect matches;
Their subject line reads like this:
“Are there matches you’re not…. GETTING…… yet? ”
Well, since you asked, let me answer!!!
Obviously there ARE matches that I am not GETTING……..!!! surprise surprise……smirk on face…….
Just to clarify things, THIS is what I don’t GET;
I don’t get their lies (embellishments perhaps)
I don’t get their photos, from 25 years ago, really?( I can “date” your fashion, sir)
I don’t get that they “really don’t want to date anyone with children” (that narrows down their selection pool)
I don’t get that every single damn one of them likes “long walks on the beach” (how original)
I don’t get that none of them use spell check and that their verb tenses do not match (did you graduate high school?)
I don’t get that they only want to date someone between the ages 21-35 (oh, excuse me, and how old would you be senior sir?)
So….let me answer that match services subject line…
“YES” yes there is something that I am not getting, ….and I might add that I am very glad, too……….
Now on to more serious matters……
This has been bothering me, because I am a worrier…..(wish I was warrior,
but no, I’m more a worrier)…..
always have been, pretty much since I was born……
I got a little anonymous criticism this week about my “concocted blarney” regarding one of my earlier blogs in which I showed photos and made up what I thought to be a very sweet love story. It seems someone thought that I was totally disrespectful to survivors of the subject.
Well, first off I apologize if I offended anyone.
But I just gotta say that if there are any survivors, where were they when the subject needed them? Hoarding and “hoarders” have always been with us, http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/ny/history/infamous-hoarders-homer-langley-collyer-the-new-york-times-094841
E L Doctorow did a “fictionalized” story of these famous brothers who died amid their cluttered apartment filled with over 100 tons of garbage….you’ll enjoy the link above…..
It’s even one of the coolest reality shows I have ever seen,
but it is a mental illness. When survivors of the deceased are either incompetent or apathetic to the disbursement of the contents of the home, and I do the dirty work and purchase the contents, then I kinda feel like I am the owner.
And I must tell you that I have a VERY vivid imagination.
I will of course change the names, and I will upcycle the facts, until I develop what I think will be a meaningful story.
And I will embellish. That is my nature.
As for the anonymous critic asking me what I would think “if I found someone posting photos and concocted blarney about my deceased relatives”
…….I just have to respond that I would think that is about the coolest thing since sliced bread……especially when it developed into a nice love story! (Maybe they didn’t really read my blog).
Now…..sliced bread……..that’s a lead-in hint to another blog about a local bread company family and their abandoned property and shirley temple……soon to be posted so stay tuned…….
Oh Yea…back to the senior service and finding the perfect match for me…..did I just say that I embellish?
I guess I should cut some slack to my perfect matches so they can embellish too, since I just ok’d it for myself.
As for proper grammar…..PLEASE…if you see any mistakes on my blog let me know. I just cannot stand misspellings and grammatically incorrect sentences……and I use a lot of exclamation marks and dot dot dots and commas, so SORRY!
(btw, could you send me somebody like this guy next time?)